Psalm 56.3 3 When I
am afraid, I put my trust in you. (NIV)
This is a statement of true faith because being afraid is real, and the only
refuge from afraid is God. David was
well acquainted with fear but he was well known for putting his trust in God.
They don’t call David the man after [God’s]
own heart for nothing (see Acts 13.22).
David did do some really dumb things, but that isn’t
really what David was afraid of – he was really afraid of disappointing God. But,
when surrounded by enemies and people who were out to do him in, David faithfully
and routinely called upon the Name of the Lord; and put His trust in God. That
was David’s M.O. and that is why he is called the man after God’s own heart.
David wasn’t perfect – far from it – but David knew and loved God, and sought
Him all the days of his life.
I have really done some dumb things. I have hurt people.
I have lied. I have pretended (which is just another form of lying (along with
deception and self-disrespect)). But I woke up one day about 31 years ago and
decided that I would take God up on His offer: His life for mine. I gave Him my life, and got His in return. It
hasn’t always been rosy – sometimes I tend to think that God got the raw end of
the deal: I’m a lousy business partner. God smiles. He knows what He’s in for…
But God didn’t bring me into the picture because of my credentials (thankfully, I have none…
other than I am His cherished possession; He tends to look at all of us that
way.) And the other thing is, I cannot
hurt God – He’s incapable of being hurt by dumb decisions regardless of how
misguided and stupid they are. God isn’t hurt, He doesn’t cry; and with you and
me He is never, ever disappointed. (We often like to play the Disappointed card in Christian circles
to guilt each other into line with our preconceived notions of what it really
means to be a well-behaved believer.) And isn’t that really what it boils down
to: our avoidance of disappointment?
David did hold
God in extremely high regard, but that regard didn’t stop David in the
Bathsheba Affair – or the Absalom Affair – or any of the other affairs in which
he found himself entangled. The only way God ever thought of David was: David,
you’re a man after My heart, and I will always love you regardless of what you
do. (I think David was a lot like us, I think he really tried to be the
real deal – but he found it brought him mixed results.)
After 31 years of walking with the Lord (mostly Him with
me, He knows I’ve done much of it as if He was off somewhere busy with more
pressing matters) this I know today: when
I am afraid, I will put my trust in Him. I need that thought that He is never ever mad at me – or disappointed,
or tearing up because I’ve been so bad. I need to know that I am changing in my
love for Him; and if my behavior is affected, it’s only because I love Him more
than I used to.
Father, I do put my trust in You over issues that are too
big for me and reveal my weakness and foolishness. I do put my trust in this: when I really screw up, You are never
disappointed or mad at me – You are only ever in the process of making me
into the man You’ve say I am: a man after Your own heart – because Your own
heart is what I need to govern my every moment. I trust in You – Amen.
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