Tears and a Bleeding Nose

10.09.14

Luke 22.44 And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground. – St. Luke (ESV)

Luke 2 is full of emotion. In my pilgrimage, I’ve been taught that emotion is not to be part of my spiritual experience because emotion can cause me to do things I wouldn’t otherwise do and thereby, the emotional decision I make is somehow faulty because (I’ve been taught) emotions aren’t trustworthy in decision making.

Fair enough. But emotions – however trustworthy – are part of who we are. And emotions run high in the narrative of Luke 22. Judas is emotionally moved by anger and disappointment when he goes to the Chief Priests to offer to betray Jesus. (Vv. 3-6) The Chief Priests are motivated by fear to kill Jesus (Vv. 1,2). Arrogance and pride are present at the Last Supper (Vv. 24-30). Peter boasts in arrogance of his loyalty to Jesus (Vv. 31-34). But two emotional events in the chapter of Luke top all of this: Jesus’ intense prayer in the garden, and the post-partum of Peter’s denial.

Jesus prayed with such agony and intensity that His capillaries burst and mixed with His sweat. (I’m sure the disciples with Him had never seen that before. And Jesus must’ve looked a bloody mess.) I’ve had moments where I’ve been so stressed-out that my nose began to bleed. The trauma of emotion.

Peter, when he’d volatilely denied any involvement with or knowledge of Jesus (blankety, blank, bleep), heard a rooster crow and it brought about deep and bitter weeping – the gut wrenching weeping of: I’ve now done something I can never undo… Emotions are part of who we are.

And, emotions can cause me to do things I wouldn’t otherwise do. But, they can also cause me to do things I wouldn’t otherwise do: like pray with such intensity that I get our point across to God, or pull out my check book and write generously without regard. Or give the shirt off my back; or go into foreign countries to share the love of Christ… Yes, emotions can cause me to do the strangest things.

It is true I shouldn’t make some decisions when I’m angry or sad, or full of happiness and joy – but then again, perhaps I should. How angry do I have to get before I stand up to some of the daily atrocities around me – like human trafficking, abortion, child-abuse, &c.? How sad do I need to get before I reach out in compassion to help a needy person? What trauma moves me to share a kind word and the reassurance of God’s love? Emotions are powerful, and necessary.

Father, You know that I weep at the drop of a hat. I wish I had a little more control than that. But, I accept, emotional as I am, that You’ve made me the way I am. And I pray that my emotions would help me (not hinder me) in the mission You’ve assigned me. With my tears and bloody noses, I ask to be used by You to make a holy difference in my world. Amen.