Lord, Fix My Want To

12.31.12

Revelation 22.11 11 "Let the one who does wrong continue to do wrong; let the vile person continue to be vile; let the one who does right continue to do right; and let the holy person continue to be holy.”

Today, with the exception of two events, one spontaneous and the other planned, wraps up another annual excursion through the Bible. And tomorrow, starts the next. I have done this now since February 2002 and believe it is one of the most important things I can do each year.

As I look back on 2012 and think about my life I’ve seen the death of some things in my life. I’ve decided some hills are just too small to die on. I’ve seen some things more clearly and remarkably I’ve seen some of my small battles become larger. Age does that to you. I see areas in my life that need improvement. I see some opportunities to do things differently, and with more diligence and discipline. I see some relationships that need work.

So the first thought in my mind this morning was this: Lord, fix my want to. Life is full of want to: I want to do this; I don’t want to do that. I want my life to have some meaning and purpose and I want to achieve a greater measure of that this year. I want to give some attention to at least two activities in this next year that have been on my unfulfilled want to shelf this past year.

And life is more than just want to. Want to can simply remain want to because the road to ineffectiveness is paved with unfulfilled want to. There must be a plan and there must be execution and there must be an “I want to” that overcomes the “I don’t want to.” And if we’re not careful I want to can be overpowered by time, repeated setbacks, and the ever-present I don’t want to.

The verse above spoke to me this morning in concert with the thought, Lord, fix my want to. The verse communicated something along the line of “you choose!” "Let the one who does wrong continue to do wrong; let the vile person continue to be vile; let the one who does right continue to do right; and let the holy person continue to be holy… you choose!” And so at least this day, I choose: want to. I want to do right rather than wrong and I want to choose holiness rather than unholiness. But I admit, looking at the wake of 2012 that I’ll need help in 2013 – Lord, fix my want to.

Father,

Yours is the power and the glory for ever and ever. I don’t believe You placed me on this earth to spin my wheels and live just bumping along the bottom of the creek. I believe You have ordained purpose and meaning for each of us and it is to that ordination that I give myself again at the end of this year when we (here) seem to think it is time for reflection, election, and correction. Then comes: protection and direction. Lord, fix my want to that at this time next year we can sit down together and see what has happened… amen.