If Only

10.26.11

Acts 26.32 32 Agrippa said to Festus, “This man could have been set free if he had not appealed to Caesar.” NIV

Many times in my life the if’s have prevented me from doing something. Once when I was pastoring a church, I was asked by a men’s organization to submit a copy of my mission, goals, vision, etc. as a church, and that if I did, I would be considered for a possible financial grant. They rejected my response because I missed the due date by one day and they wouldn’t allow me any grace. If only I’d sent it in one day earlier. I even had a good excuse for being late.

Paul was considered by Festus and Agrippa (Acts 25-26) to be innocent. They heard his case and came to the reasonable conclusion that Paul had done nothing wrong and his Jewish accusers were just jealous of him. They would have set him free if he hadn’t appealed to Caesar. If only Paul; if only you hadn’t had to have your way! If only!

If only’s are under God’s control. God uses if only’s. God had a much bigger plan for Paul and his freedom wouldn’t have worked in God’s plan. God used Roman Law to His advantage and put Paul right in the middle of it. Agrippa and Festus could only see the if only and Paul’s continued incarceration – God saw Paul sharing the Gospel with Nero, the emperor. And Paul wasn’t any worse for wear because of it.

The if only’s can drive you crazy if you let them: if only I’d… But remember God uses all of our if only’s (both good and bad) to transform us in, and conform us to, His will. God’s purpose for our lives is greater than any if only’s we happen to run across. God is not short-changed by if only’s.

I’ve had several if only situations that are especially painful to me when I think of them. But in the greater scheme of things they are the times when I needed to learn something and in retrospect they were just tools along the way. If only’s will never stop; they’ll continue until we die, but in heaven I think we’ll be able to look back and see them in perfect clarity for what they really were in our lives: useful tools to guide us down the right path – God’s path.

And sometimes it is especially helpful to remember that Paul’s if only was designed by God for something greater than Paul’s immediate release. Had he been released, the Jews probably would’ve hunted him down and killed him out of revenge. They were probably saying something like, “Dang! If only he’d not appealed…he’d be dead by tonight!” If only’s work both ways.

I might opine my if only’s but I must remember and trust that God uses them to His advantage and His advantage is mine as well because He is my Father and He looks out for me… even when I miserably wail, if only!