Must’s

6/9/2017 

Ephesians 5. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. – St. Paul 

Sometimes, I have it in my mind, I’m going to write about this or write about that; you get that way after fifteen years of following the same Bible Reading plan knowing, instinctively, what is coming next.  

Consider: today’s reading is Ecclesiastes 10-12, Psalm 94, and Ephesians 5. I know what is in Ecclesiastes 10, especially verse 19: A feast is made for laughter, wine makes life merry, and money is the answer for everything. For some reason, it doesn’t sound all that Biblical, but it’s true – oddly, it’s as true today as it was 2500 years ago when it was written. It speaks volumes about our relationship with money. 

So, I wanted to expound on that, but then, as is usually the case, I completed my assigned portion of Holy Writ and saw something else that unseated what I thought I wanted, or was going to, expound upon – enter Ephesians 5.33. 

As a word-nerd, I like to think about things and words that seem to fit my wandering mind… take the word: unequivocal. I thought about unequivocal as I thought about St. Paul’s words to us concerning the married-life: each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Unequivocal. Unambiguous. Explicit. Indisputable. Obvious. 

Marriage is all about the husband caring for his bride, and the bride admiring her care-giver. Love and respect are the water-boys for care and admiration. And it’s unequivocal. Sure, we try to nuance what Paul is saying, but the bottom line is this: marriage requires courageous things to make it work the way it should: love and respect go a long way in courage. 

St. Solomon wrote that money is the answer to everything. Well..., in some cases that might be true, but without love or respect you can throw as much money as you want at a bad marriage and it will still be a bad marriage. The husband must (St. Paul’s word) love his wife as he loves himself (and that is big); and the wife must respect her husband. If this thing is going to work, there are some, must’s. Unequivocal. 

There are unequivocal must’s in life: I must eat, I must breathe. These aren’t suggestions, they are have-to’s. Love and respect are have-to’s; I must do these in order to make the thing work. They are unequivocal but volitional. It is far better to pull a chain than to push it… 

And Paul was saying: For Christ’s sake (and yours) you must do these things (like you must breathe) or your marriage will be faulty at best. And the must’s apply to just plain old relationships as well: love, respect, and communication go a long way in keeping life smooth, clear, and worry-free. You must eat. You must breathe. You must go out of your way to choose to love and respect – unequivocal. 

Father, there are truths in life that bear up under pressure: love and respect are two of those truths. I can throw money at things and think I'm doing good, but nothing beats good old-fashioned love, and respect. Help me in my choices, help me in my must’s. Help me in my marriage and relationships. I reap what I sow – amen