In My Defense

11.02.14

Job 23.7 There an upright man could argue with him, and I would be acquitted forever by my judge. – Job (ESV)

Adam tried it. David tried it. And so did Job. And so do we: we all try to acquit ourselves before God. Adam blamed the woman who blamed the serpent, who blamed God. David blamed weariness. And Job – Job blamed God because Job was quite sure God had made a mistake. And if only Job could stand before the Almighty, he was sure he could make his defense: I didn’t deserve this; surely, God, see, You have made some kind of mistake.

Again, we all do it. I’m not so bad. It’s my parents fault. If I just had (or didn’t have…). We all feel pretty confident we could stand before God and make our case.

Fortunately, the story of Job has a beginning to which we are privy to a conversation of which Job wasn’t. Why we are privy and why Job wasn’t is something we aren’t privy to; only God has that knowledge. Friday, I consoled a friend who was feeling the bite of criticism and judgment, that the cheap seats are always full. We can sit in the cheap seats when we read Job’s story, or David’s or Adam’s, or Peter’s and claim we would’ve done it differently. (Personally, part of me is truly relieved that it was them who were chosen, not me…)

Philip Yancey says of Job: All of us go through the same struggles as Job, the difference is ours are spread out over a lifetime.* It’s true. Job had to deal with all of it all at once. We get to deal with ours over the ebbs and flows and seasons of our entire life. And we aren’t privy to the heavenly conversations about us – but we do get to read Job’s story and we do get to think.

Job said, If I could just stand before God, I could get this all taken care of – I would stand in my defense, argue my case, and win God over. If only.

I’ve recently taken this stance: If God is allowing me to do this so that I can go flying down the interstate of live at 80 mph and slam into a brick wall, then so be it. I am tempted to think that at times. And really, I have no access – no privy – to the divine conversations of which I am the topic. But, I do know this: my Savior loves me and sits at our Father’s right hand and intercedes for me. I do know God doesn’t make mistakes, and His love never fails, despite brick walls that pop up here and there.

I have no self-defense save this: Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong; they are weak, but He is strong.

Jesus, in my defense, all I can claim is You. You are my defense, my fortress, my shield, my strong tower. I trust that the brick walls I fear will be dealt with mightily in Your infinite power, wisdom, and mercy. And I trust You Lord. In my defense, I only ask for Your presence in all I do – privy or not. And Lord, I leave it there with You. Thank You, amen.